Why does it seem harder to stay happy than to stay suffering?

Why does it seem harder to stay happy than to stay suffering?

This is a question that comes up very often for people in all sorts of situations in life.

To really understand why many of us experience happiness and suffering in this way, a neuroscientific understanding of how the brain works is very useful.

Extremely simply put we could say we have three brains (neocortex, limbic system & reptilian brain). Two of these are relevant for the purposes of this discussion, one is a part of the neocortex, the left prefrontal cortex and the other a part of the limbic system which we sometimes refer to as the primitive brain. The left prefrontal cortex is where you could say happiness lives. That is where our solutions are, where we are creative and inventive and positive. Then there is the limbic system, within which is the amygdala, our fight-flight centre. When any insecurity/threat/stress is perceived this primitive brain takes over and stays in control until it perceives the external world to be a safe place again. Although this is effective, there are two problems with this for us modern humans in our overloaded lives.

1. By nature, this part of the brain is negative and not an intellect. This means your actions that come from here are not designed to feel good or make you happy. They are designed to stop you dying. That is it. Suffering (your own or those of others around you) is not an issue for this part of the brain so it will easily allow you to go into suffering for as long as it deems necessary.
2. Given our stressful lives, most people are living mostly with their primitive brain in the driver's seat.

The end result is that people experience suffering and they can remain suffering for what seems almost permanent, except for little glimpses of happiness. What's more, it seems difficult to come out of it, whilst it seems very easy to fall out of happiness into suffering.

The good news is, it does not have to be this way. Like most things in life, maintaining happiness can also be learnt. Happiness, interestingly, has a great deal to do with awareness and a degree of self-discipline as shown by a number of studies of Buddhist monks, which found that Buddhist monks had significantly larger left-prefrontal cortexes compared to the average population. (Look up Matthieu Ricard/Dr Richard Davidson for more info).

Now you could feel disheartened, and say, 'well, I am not a Buddhist monk, so what use is it to me'. But if you look at it from another perspective, you see that this is very good news indeed, because it means that the physical brain can actually changed based on your behaviour, your activities, your choices... Another words, the plasticity of the brain means you can change your physical brain, patterns habits and personality tendencies.

So, in the end, thankfully, the supposition in the question may not be true. Happiness can be very robust if you know how to work on yourself to develop your happiness 'muscle'. And that's exactly what I facilitate at Clarity Flow Hypnotherapy.

Why? because we all deserve to be well!

And thankfully, we can always find small ways to be better than where we are at right now, right?


TO BOOK A FREE CONSULTATION FOR CLINICAL HYPNOTHERAPY CLICK HERE

Maral Kojayan MA HPD
Clinical Hypnotherapist
www.clarityflowhypnotherapy.com

Photo by Lidya Nada Lidya Nada